Bitch! Whore! Slut! Very common words to describe girls! Aren’t they? There are very few girls who have not been called by these words in their lives, and they are blessed. But most of us have been called by these names at least once in our lives. Because of the easy accessibility to internet and ease of anonymity, we have several social media platforms where we can share our views and opinions which I think, is great! But when the opinion converts into a hate speech with filthy words, then it cannot be considered as a view or opinion anymore.
We are living in a time where we are trying to be positive and encouraging towards women. We are trying to empower ourselves, we are constantly fighting for our rights and proving our worth in every situation possible. But at the same time, we are continuing to be bitchy about each other as well. Not being able to withstand one woman’s success, talking about her flaws and describing her character with funny names behind her back is a common issue these days.
I used to gossip a lot. Why wouldn’t I? Everyone around me used to do it. It’s like, in any get together, gossiping about someone’s life and character was a mandatory thing to do. From time to time, there were many girls who talked about me behind my back, gossiped about my flaws rather than helping me overcome them, constantly spread remarks about me so that I can’t even look into anyone’s eye when I speak. I know I had issues. Maybe I still do. But from my experiences, I have learnt one thing properly. I have learnt the pain that a person, specially a girl feels when she hits rock bottom. I know how it feels to be the butt of all jokes. I know the depression and the sadness that comes with all these. I know that no matter how hard you try to fight back, you can’t because you are constantly judging yourself by the judgment of others instead of the good deeds you do or the good qualities you possess.
For the last two years, I have tried not judging anyone. It’s not one of those Facebook’s “about me” quotes which says- “I am not a judgmental person”. It’s more than that. I know everyone possess two sides- a good and a dark one. I know and understand, everyone makes mistakes; once, twice, thrice or maybe hundreds of times. But does it give me any right to talk about it, make jokes about it, gossip and spread stories about it? I don’t think so. I have also come across people who have been immensely supportive towards me in my success, failures and mess ups. Massive thanks to all of them. And there are so many girls, who have always doubted my success, my attempts to do something good for myself and others, and spread my mistakes with colorful names as much as possible. My point is, the times they all spread my weaknesses, put me down, humiliated me, called me with funny names and cornered me; in those times, they could have done something productive for themselves. They could have taken up a new hobby or an extracurricular activity to better themselves.
I know I am not a perfect woman. But I am trying on getting there. I believe, empowering a woman doesn’t mean telling her to be arrogant, over confident or glamorous. Rather it means to be learning from the mistakes, realizing self-worth, acquiring vast knowledge and understanding about human beings, seeking for truth, integrity, honesty and their beauties, living a fearless and a honest life and being transparent to oneself.
Tahiya Islam completed her graduation from the Department of Pharmacy of East West University, Dhaka, Bangladesh. She is currently living in Selangor, Malaysia. Apart from her love for writing, she has a knack for public speaking as well . Her career goal is to become a teacher and be a motivational speaker.